Falling in Love

FallinginLoveYesterday I wrote about my experience with girls up through high school, and how awkward I felt around them. In college however, I was living on campus and that… was… awesome. There were girls everywhere and it seemed like ninety percent of them were super hot and many of them were not tell you.This was when I realized in a concrete way that girls were just like boys, in that they got crushes, felt horny, were frustrated by rejection and couldn’t always put themselves out on a limb for a chance at love. I realized that many of the girls I had known probably did like me even in just a passing sort of way, and that if they had liked me, there were probably many would also. This realization probably at the point where most guys begin to date a lot. I, however, was always poor and that did not change just because of some epiphany I had. So I just started flirting more with some of the female acquaintances I met, I became really charming, I think. Nothing overtly sexual, I was witty and funny and could talk about most anything, I was confident around women.

I met Meghan through the girls who lived above me in my freshmen year, who I hung out with a great deal. When we first met she called her self Helmet, she got this name from her rugby team because she frequently put her foot in her mouth and they joked that she was special needs and should wear a helmet. Two facts that I found endearing. We started going out and she started staying in my dorm, since she lived at home still. Later that semester I lost my virginity and it was great. I liked sex, though I don’t think I was that great at it. She introduced me to alcohol which I had avoided because my parent were alcoholics, but which I also enjoyed. That summer she called my phone while I was at a friends house for the weekend helping clear out their basement. I missed the call and she left a message that went something like this.

“Heey Jon, this is Meghan I just wanted to call you and let you know that.. I think I’m a lesbian now, so…I don’t know this is gonna work out…Bye.”

As you can imagine this pretty much ruined my weekend and most of that week, but as with my first girlfriend things had been fizzling out at this point. since the summer had started we hadn’t seen much of each other and when we did it was kind of awkward. So I was not so upset that we would not be going out anymore, though would miss though I would miss the sex. What really got to me was the fact that in all the time we had been dating, I had not amassed enough respect from her to warrant a face to face, or at least an actual conversation. I knew that there was nothing to do in that situation to save the relationship, but some consideration would have been nice. I spent the next  twelve hours not sure that the message was even serious, it would not have been unprecedented for her to think that was funny.

As you might imagine I felt pretty crappy about myself for a bit, but eventually thanks to my friends and a lot of drinking the summer I got over it. And when fall semester came I was ready to move on, and one helpful event that happened in this regard was that I got bumped from on campus housing. So that semester I commuted to school which was a rough few months, but on the up side, it forced me to start hanging out with a whole new crowd of people. That combined with a recent epiphany about my drinking put me in a really good place to find a decide woman who would like me as much as I liked her.

I Started pursuing a relationship with one girl, who I was on the fence about because she smoked a lot of Marijuana and claimed she could talk to trees, but the was cute and funny and into art which I liked. Alas I screwed that up by making out with a girl at a party who I thought was really cool and smart, though she didn’t like Star Wars or Sci Fi in general. But apparently I was a little too “handsy” and we were both a little drunk and so when I had resolved to ask her out on a proper date she decided to ignore my phone calls and avoid me at all costs, meaning that I could no longer hang out with the friend that I had met her through without it being awkward, so… yeah. Since I had pretty well screwed both of these relationship up before they started I thought, maybe I should just try being on my own and relax on the dating front.

Like I said I was commuting to school and had made a bunch of friends one really good friend I made was Jamie, who frequently let me sleep on her floor. It was through her that I met Lauren, and the next semester when I got back on campus I started hanging out with Jamie all the time and Lauren too. Lauren was a friend of Jamie’s roommate, and she was gorgeous. With blonde hair and blue-green eyes, and a smile that could blind a person. I was immediately attracted to her, and unlike other women I had flirted with in the past, I could tell right away that she was attracted to me. So I kissed her, right in the middle of Jamie’s room with three other people there, and it was by far one of the closest things to actual magic I have ever experienced in my life. And since no one else seemed to notice it happen. I was not entirely should it had happened until we were alone and I could talk to her about it.

And it was one week later that I knew without any real doubt that I loved her. I was Valentine’s Day (yes our Anniversary just past) and a few days before she and I were hanging out with our usual friends and one of the girls asked what they should get for their boyfriend. I replied that guys don’t care much about gift on valentine’s day that if they are going to get some thing on it the best thing is “food and action” make him dinner and show him a good time. This was accepted as pretty sound advice, and I agreed. On Valentine’s day came, Lauren and I agreed to exchange gifts. We couldn’t really go on a date, since we were both kind of broke. I decided to make her a sculpture, out of cardboard, which was the medium of my choice at the time. I made a three dimensional heart out of three to six inch strips the when viewed from a particular angle spelled Lauren in red. And she got me… “food and action”, she handed me a box of Rice Crispy Treats, my favorite, and a pack of mini Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles action figures. I was in love right then. And still am seven years later.

And that’s my take on falling in love.

I love you Lauren, Happy Valentine’s Day.


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